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It’s a Feelings Disease - Emotions and Addictions

Boy has 18 months clean and sober. Boy is going to twelve step meetings, praying and meditating each day, talking to his sponsor regularly, doing service like chairing meetings, speaking at detox, sponsoring others. Boy is staying clean one day at a time. Uh Oh – boy meets girl. Boy and girl go together for a few months. Girl breaks up with boy. Boy is devastated. Boy relapses and loses everything.

Believe it or not this scenario is very realistic indeed. How do I know? It happened to me! They say that the disease of addiction is a feelings disease not because we can’t learn to handle life on life’s terms but because I believe us addicts and alcoholics feel very intensely. This does not mean we cannot live normal lives and must shelter ourselves from heartache, but rather we must stay spiritually fit in order to prepare ourselves for those emotional upheavals that inevitably come our way as we trudge through our destinies. When I relapsed with 18 months under my belt I had let up on some of the spiritual exercise that kept me fit.

Sure I was praying and meditating each day, but I stopped meaning the words. I was in a rush when I said my prayers. I didn’t listen for the answers to my prayers when I meditated. The love relationship shifted my focus from being God centered to being self centered. I was more concerned with looking good and feeling good than I was with helping other addicts and alcoholics recover which is one of the most important things an addict or alcoholic can do to help themselves stay clean and sober. “When all else fails, help another addict or alcoholic,” the program professes.

Don’t get me wrong! There is nothing wrong with feelings, and to boot I am a firm believer that there is no such thing as bad feelings and good feelings. Feelings are our mind’s teachers. When we feel angry we are being taught that there is an issue that must be dealt with. If we push it away or use because of it we are simply adding more work to be done later. If we feel sad we should know that an event has affected our soul and we are going through the natural grieving stage in order to move on to a better place. Yes, we must allow ourselves to feel our feelings but we cannot be ruled by them.

When we start letting our feelings dictate our actions we start getting into trouble sometimes. How then do we deal with our more difficult feelings in recovery and take preventative measure to minimize them. For some medication is required, anger management classes, breathing exercises, meditation and prayer, and counseling are all fine techniques for dealing with tough emotions.

But I believe the best medicine for those in recovery is to simply stay spiritually fit by going to meetings regularly and sharing honestly from the heart, practicing the spiritual principles of the program like honesty, courage, willingness, open-mindedness (to name a few), staying in touch with other addicts and alcoholics who have been through what you have been through, and carrying the message of recovery to others. In these ways one can get through the ups and downs of the roller coaster road we sometimes call life.

Zach Samuels is the author of Confessions of a Crack Head which can be found at Confessions of a Crack Head. The site offers resources for addicts and their families, a blog, a forum, contact information, and more.

Is There a Simple Solution to the Problem of Why God Allows Evil to Occur?

One of the most difficult questions for priests, ministers, and theologians to answer is – Why does a kind, compassionate, personal God that answers prayers and looks out for our personal welfare, allow so much evil to occur in the world? This is often called “the problem of evil.” As far back as the fourth century BCE, philosophers such as Epicurus have addressed this question. Epicurus pointed out that it was hard to get God off the hook. He wrote, “Either God wants to abolish evil and cannot; or he can, but does not want to. If he wants to, but cannot he is impotent. If he can but does not want to, he is wicked.”

One of the oldest methods to answer this dilemma was proposed several thousand years ago by the Gnostics, a group of quasi-Christian mystics. To them there was no problem because they viewed God as so inherently evil that he would have no interest in preventing evil. They called this demonic God the Demiurge, taken from a term Plato used to denote the creator of the base world. The Demiurge was the God that interacted with man. The real God or “true Father” represented the less flawed world and could not be held responsible for the actions of the Demiurge.

The deists propose a solution that still leaves God blameless but is less harsh. They propose that God did indeed create the early universe but when this job was completed he was no longer involved. This approach has the advantage that it allows those who believe in this type of God to also believe in Darwinian evolution as the mechanism by which all life including man himself was created. This is far more satisfactory to the rational brain than the proposals of the young earth creationists who believe the Bible is literally true and that the world is less than 6,000 years old, and that Darwinism is baloney.

The deist solution is also not very satisfactory to the majority of people in the world who believe in a personal God that guided the evolution of man and watches over us on a minute-to-minute basis. These are called theists and they have proposed a number of solutions to the “problem of evil.”

The most popular is that God endowed man with free will. This relieved God from the onerous duty of being responsible for all the minute detailed decisions that billions of humans make everyday. God could not be responsible if it was a person’s individual decision to do evil things. This, however, did not explain the evil done by nature in the form of hurricanes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters. Some have suggested that nature also has its own free will.

Another creative answer to the problem of evil is the yin and yang solution. This says we cannot have good in the world if the opposite, evil, is not around to compare it to. We cannot have hot without cold, love without hate, or good without evil. Another explanation is that evil is part of God’s mysterious plan. This is especially evoked when a child dies or is killed. Somehow the pain is supposed to be lessened if this event is all part of God’s mysterious plan. A further solution, popular with several fundamentalist religions is that “people get what they deserve.” This was especially popular during the 2004 tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands of people in the orient. Some ministers proclaimed that was God’s pay back for abortions, liberal sex, homosexuality, failure to pray to God in public school, and many other supposed transgressions against God’s laws. The problem is, none of these answers is truly satisfying if your child is killed, your spouse dies at a young age, or thousands or even millions of people are killed in natural disasters, purges, genocides, wars, epidemics or other horrors humans have been subjected to.

There is however, one simple solution to the problem of evil, one simple answer, one explanation that does not require any circuitous stretches of logic. That is a simple reversal of the assumption made by most people that God created man – to man created God. This proposes that man created the theory of a personal God who created the world, who answers prayers, and who attends to our minute-by-minute needs. In pre-modern times this theory was the best possible solution for the unknown questions – Where did we come from? Where are we going? When I die am I gone forever? Is there life after death? In modern times with remarkable advances in biology, physics, and the neurosciences, these questions now have answers that do not require the ancient theory that we have a personal God. This takes God out of the issue entirely. The most simple and satisfactory answer to the “problem of evil” is to realize that man created God.

David E. Comings, M.D., author of Did Man Create God? is a world renown physician, human geneticist, and neuroscientist, past president of the American Society of Human Genetics and head of the Department of Medical Genetics at the City of Hope National Medical Center for 37 years. See Did Man Create God.

Make Memories That Matter

When it slammed into Anguilla, Hurricane Luis was a strong category four storm with sustained winds of 150 mph and gusts up to 200 mph. None of us knew what to expect and everyone on the island was terrified. We’d all seen reports on television of hurricanes completely destroying communities, but it had been thirty years since a bad storm hit Anguilla and people had become complacent. Now, we were scared. As the winds picked up, everyone braced themselves for the worst. Houses were boarded with plywood as were all of the hotels, restaurants and office buildings. The hurricane crashed into Anguilla and stayed for thirty six long hours. And when it was over, Luis had destroyed our little restaurant, leaving behind only scraps of wood and splinters from our tall, teal shutters.

Why is it, you might wonder, that we look back at Hurricane Luis with loving thoughts? Well, thankfully, there was no loss of life or serious injury on Anguilla so the damage was limited to things. Buildings, lamp posts, boats, signs, plants, and cars were completely destroyed. But it’s what happened after the storm that stays in our memory. We will never forget how the Blanchard’s Restaurant staff showed up with hammers and saws in hand ready to rebuild. Their love and enthusiasm for the life we had created together warmed our hearts; it was a priceless gift. We had worked hard to build a family of people who sincerely cared about each other and the realization that we had succeeded was just about as wonderful as anything we can imagine.

Think about the memories you’re creating every day. We all pay attention to major events like weddings, births and graduations and have photo albums filled with those memories. But what about the days in between? How do they stack up against those few special days? Maintaining your dream and living what you love has a great deal to do with the memories you create throughout your life. When you’re deciding to make a change and to bring the spirit of LWYL into your heart, consider what memories you’ve created in the past and what kind of memories you want to create from now on.

Our photo albums are filled with family snapshots spanning five decades. We have photos of each of us before we were married, and then piles of albums documenting a million great times with Jesse and his wonderful wife, Maggie. And because so many of our cherished memories are tied to our work, we have photo albums at the restaurant as well. They’re stuffed with memories of the trips we’ve taken together with our staff as well as photos of everyday life at the restaurant: Miguel carefully arranging flowers on a table, Lowell and Rinso concocting a new drink at the bar, Tarah greeting guests with her warm, welcoming smile, and Clinton and Hughes grilling lobsters and tossing salads in the kitchen. The memories of our adventures - both personal and business - are our greatest treasures. Some brought tears and others made us jump up and down with joy and excitement. The tearful moments taught us some painful lessons and the joyful occasions have given our life meaning and purpose. But each one of those adventures makes up our life and our history, and we love them all.

If the world were going to end tomorrow, what would you look back on? Would it be the weddings, birthdays and anniversaries? Or would you have countless other experiences that you deliberately chose and dearly value? Maintaining your dream will fill your photo albums with memories from every day of your life. Do something you’re passionate about and you’ll want to remember it all. Surround yourself with people you care about, and you won’t want to forget any of your times together. Create memories that you love. Follow one dream and then another. Live what you love. And even if you don’t have a camera to take pictures along the way, you’ll have a heart filled with memories.

Remember

Do

Create meaningful memories

Celebrate your dreams

Turn setbacks into opportunities to remember

Don’t

Underestimate the importance of the tiny moments that make up each day

Forget that energy and enthusiasm help to create positive memories

Take your life story lightly

Bob and Melinda Blanchard are motivational, life change experts who teach people how to successfully navigate life transitions such as graduation, divorce, career change, starting a business or simply pursuing your dreams. To learn more about their books and how to live what you love, visit Live What You Love.

18 Ways to Stay Clean and Sober

In Judaism, 18 is a holy number. It stands for the Hebrew word “chai” which means life. Here is a list of 18 ways you can stay clean and sober so that you can have a life.

1. Get phone numbers of recovering addicts working a program and use them. It’s really important to talk to other addicts and alcoholics outside of meetings because it keeps you accountable and creates a network of people you can learn to depend on to be there for you when you need them most. Sometimes it’s a matter of life of death!

2. Go to 12 step meetings regularly. The only way to learn about the program is by going to meetings regularly. They suggest 90 meetings in 90 days but many people in early recovery will go to 2 or 3 meetings a day. It keeps you busy, connected with others, teaches you about the steps and the program, and gives you a chance to share how you’re feeling with others who really care.

3. Get a sponsor and talk to him/her on a daily basis. Your sponsor will guide you through the steps, be there for you when you need to talk, and in most cases become a really good friend.

4. Pray. Prayer works. What else can I say!

5. Meditate. Meditation helps ease the craziness of daily life and it’s where we go to hear the answers to our prayers.

6. Read recovery related literature. An addiction library is an excellent place to find loads of information on any topic which is of interest to you concerning your particular addiction and will educate and arm you with tons of defenses against taking that first one.

7. Ask God to help you stay clean in the morning. I have a friend with many years of clean time who says he has never heard of anyone who has sincerely asked for help to stay clean in the morning pick up that day. Go figure!

8. Thank God for helping you stay clean when you go to bed at night.

9. Work the twelve steps. The key to a new and healthy life and guidelines for healthy living.

10. Eat chocolate or other sweets when the cravings hit.

11. Call another recovering addict before you pick up that next drug or drink.

12. Do something for someone else to make them feel good. There’s nothing that makes one feel better than putting a smile on someone else’s face. Try it, it works.

13. Make a gratitude list. Replace fear with faith by using this tool.

14. Eat healthy foods like a juice boost drink.

15. Keep busy with fun and productive activities.

16. Find a hobby.

17. Stay out of a relationship for at least one year. Love relationships end sometimes which can be devastating in early recovery when we are starting to feel our feelings for the first time in a long time. We don’t need to take the chance of overwhelming ourselves with that before we are strong enough to handle it. This is in the top 5 reasons for people relapsing in the first year.

18. Make recovery your number one priority remembering that anything you put before it you will lose

Zach Samuels is the author of Confessions of a Crack Head which can be found at Confessions of a Crack Head. The site offers resources for addicts and their families, a blog, a forum, contact information, and more.

Betting With the Law of Attraction

Is it possible to successfully place a bet and win it using the Law of Attraction? I’ve proved it possible.

Within each and every one of us is something called an Emotional Guidance System. You may know it with a different name (gut instincts for example), but simply put the emotions that you feel, are always a perfect match to what you are currently attracting.

If you feel good, you’re attracting good things into your life.

If you feel bad, or neutral, then you’re attracting unwanted things into your life.

Your emotions are always a perfect reflection of what’s coming.

By asking yourself the question “how will I feel about this?”, you will always get a perfectly aligned response from your emotional guidance system.

Your emotions are your best method of making accurate decisions. Your logical mind can only make decisions upon what it already knows. All of your thoughts are created from past experiences and so your logical mind is working within your limited belief system.

If you start removing your attention from the logical mind and stop using your mind to make the decisions, then by relying on your emotions, you will very quickly begin to see that your emotions are always a perfect match to what you’re attracting.

How does all of this fit in with betting on events?

I’m an avid football (soccer) fan and I always enjoy watching my team play on television. I’ve started practicing using my emotions to determine how the game will end up, before the game has even kicked off.

Because I watch my team play, I am emotionally attached to the game. This helps me greatly in my decision making. Before the game begins I will ask myself…

“How do I feel about this game?”

If I get a distinct feeling of “positiveness” then the game will be a success and will win.

If I feel pretty bad about the game then it will either be a draw or a loss.

If I feel nothing and am completely neutral, then I don’t make a decision.

As I was practicing this in a recent match I was watching, I noticed a horrible feeling within me. It felt horrible and was definitely unwanted. So, I knew straight away that my team was going to lose or draw.

In the opening 10 minutes, we scored a goal and were 1-0 up. My logical mind started to kick in… “your emotions are a load of rubbish!” … “they can’t predict the outcome!”.

By half-time it was 1-1. Second half started and the opposing team took the lead and made it 2-1. The end result was a draw, 2-2.

It was an uncomfortable game and didn’t bring me any joy. I knew before the game started that it wouldn’t. I’m not big on betting, but it is entirely possible to bet using your feelings as a judgment call.

When you remove the logical mind and really listen to what you’re feeling, you will always have access to the most accurate answer, since your feelings are an indication of what you’re moving towards. If they feel good, good things are coming. If they feel bad, bad things are coming.

Simple.

Please note: This article has also been submitted to; EzineArticles, GoArticles, ArticleCity, ArticleDashboard, Buzzle & SelfGrowth

Manifesting Reality Isn’t Hard Work After All. Get your free report on manifesting miracles right now by visiting: http://www.ManifestMiracle.com/free/

A Reframing Blueprint

If you are like everybody else, chances are by now in your adulthood, your neurological pattern is now thoroughly set and it would take some time to adjust or to alter your pattern of thinking. Your way of thinking is so defined it’s like having an automatic program running in your head that enables by instinct to react in every situations the way you do.

Think for example your reaction when a relationship comes to an end. What do you feel? How do you react? Your pattern of thinking affects your emotions and your reactions – and usually people generalize their bad experiences. So if this friend of yours broke a promise, your automatic response according to your pattern of thinking, would be something like this “I knew it, he/she were really up to no good”. That is, if your mind was programmed to think in a negative way.

You just can’t help yourself from diving into that direction of thinking and generalization. The pattern is so defined, your reactions are automatic and in the long run this pattern will make you more and more miserable. It will deplete you of joy and inspiration and you would expect everything to fail and the cycle goes on and on and on.

Reframing is a way of altering your pattern of thinking; it allows you to be free of your self-imposed conclusions. Reframing allows you to feel differently of the same matter, and allows you to react in a way that defies your well defined beliefs. Reframing gives you a chance to be happier and more positive in life.

Just how do you do reframing? Reframing is nothing so complicated and scientific in its approach – it’s a practical application of years of study made through the many explorers of NLP. It’s a behavioral change for self development. It’s a set of insights and skills that allows you to run your life more successfully and be able to communicate with other people effectively.

To allow you to practice reframing, try listing a few of situations which you find are stressful and disappointing. Like not receiving your salary on time, or when you get stuck in traffic jam or the rain ruined your picnic, or anything. Make three columns, the first being the situation, the second is how you would normally react and the third column, list how you would react after you have reframed the situation.

For example: In your first column you listed being stuck in a traffic jam, and in the second column you listed your reaction of getting irritated and blowing your horns every now and then to make a headway. Now in the third column, try to reframe the situation before you list your reaction on the same situation.

Look for something positive that can happen while you’re stuck in traffic, what can possibly good happen during that time. Well you can enjoy the music playing in your radio, you can enjoy the extra time to be alone and relax before you plunge into your busy schedule and many more. Then write that very reaction on the third column and you’ll see that by just reframing the situation, you have made a big difference in your day.

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Anchoring For Emotional Balance

Most people experience life as a roller-coaster of different emotional states, accepting without question that emotions are something that just happen in response to life events. In any given day, you may experience a range of states, some positive and some that are negative or distressing. The emotional state we are in is so important as it affects how we behave and the results we get. If you are feeling positive and happy, of course the whole world seems better and more interesting and the way you behave will reflect this.

In fact emotional states are not something that happen to us, rather we create them based on how we view the world. We all know a really positive person who takes everything in their stride or a friend who seems to get upset at the slightest concern. In these modern times, it is how we respond to perceived threats that cause us stress and problems.

Imagine being able to control and regulate your emotions so that life is more balanced or being able to access resourceful emotional states when you need them. Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) therapy is a way that you can learn to manage your emotional state and change it at will in order to experience emotional freedom. When clients come to see me for NLP Edinburgh. I am able to teach them the tools of anchoring so that they can bring harmony and emotional balance to their life.

Anchors are naturally occurring associations between an external stimulus and a behavioural or emotional response. They occur because the human mind constantly seeks to make sense of the environment by looking for patterns and associations between things. It is likely that you have had the experience of hearing a certain piece of music that reminds you of a person or event from the past or have smelt perfume or some other smell that reminds you of someone you know. Hopefully, most people see a red traffic light and automatically know to stop! Not all anchors are positive. People learn to make negative associations between things, such as feeling anxious or worried when they are asked to go to their bosses office or when they are required to give a presentation to colleagues.

NLP, Edinburgh, deliberately makes use of anchors in order to empower people to have control over their emotional states. There are specific NLP techniques in which a stimulus is used to trigger and link an emotional state. The stimulus is usually external and may be a sound or touch. Through these techniques it is possible to for an individual to build up a resource of positive emotional states, which they can access in any situation in which they need them. It is also possible to completely collapse negative anchors so that external stimuli that cause you negative emotional states will no longer be a problem.

You will already have all positive emotional resources within you that you need. NLP, Edinburgh, can enable you to make use of these. Having this control will have a profound effect on all aspects of your life, particularly your relationships. You will find that you are able to behave in new and flexible ways. If you feel learning to use anchors would benefit you, it would be advisable to see an NLP practitioner. Anchoring is something that you can learn to self-administer and is a life-long skill that will get you better results.

The process involves remembering specific times in the past when you have experienced the emotional resource you wish to anchor. What great is that you can borrow positive emotional resources that occur in response to certain situations in your life and use them in other situations where wish you had them! So, the motivation that you felt in planning a particular holiday can be borrowed and used as the motivation you need in order to get you to the gym!

Why not spend time now thinking about specific times in the past when you have felt happy or have been laughing so hard it hurts! You will be amazed at all the positive emotions you have experienced and how it is possible to re-create these feelings again just by thinking about them. Do this and you are well on your way to being the boss of your emotional state.

Karen Hastings is an occupational therapist and runs a private therapy practice in Hertfordshire. Karen has worked in the NHS with individuals with acute and chronic mental-health problems. She is also a master NLP practioner and offers cognitive behaviour therapy Edinburgh, visit http://www.karenhasings.co.uk

What’s In Your Coping Toolbox?

Life consistently presents us with challenges and changes and at times this can lead to us feeling stressed. Planning how to manage and cope in various life situations, and finding out which coping skills work best for you, is the key to succeeding with stress rather then experiencing distress. When clients come to see me for NLP and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Edinburgh, it is a big part of therapy that they develop and become confident in employing coping skills. This article contains ideas for coping with stress and also acute emotional crises. If you are experiencing stress or emotional imbalance, CBT and hypnotherapy is available in Edinburgh.

Here are some ideas for coping with stress:

1. Understand more about stress – this involves recognising your sources of stress and how stress affects you personally. Plan for stressful periods.

2. Problem-solve – what is the problem, be specific and break it down into realistic achievable components. Then set goals on how to deal with each problem. Make sure you include how to begin your plan of action.

3. Develop new behaviour – if you take on too much or have problems saying no, learn to be assertive. There are plenty of courses at local colleges or you may prefer to see a therapist 1:1. Learn to manage your time more effectively and delegate wherever possible! Avoid procrastination; whilst you are not doing it, you’ll only be spending energy worrying about it.

4. Make sure you develop a support network – deliberately develop good supportive relationships. Ask for help when needed and accept it when offered. You must also be prepared to do the same for others.

5. Make time to relax and enjoy yourself – how many of us know we should do more of this but don’t make the time? Set aside time each day to relax and build this into your routine. Develop hobbies and leisure activities that help you too switch off.

Can you imagine yourself doing any of these activities when you need to cope?

Asserting yourself - Contacting one of your supports - Listening to music

Exercising- Taking a break - Going to a movie -Reading a book -Laughing/crying - Taking a walk - Taking a nice long bath - Writing a letter or a journal - Learning something new - Eating something healthy – Helping someone else.

It is important to identify and practice using coping tools if you want to be able to deal with your stress successfully. Obviously, it is not always possible to plan for stress as situations can happen that we do not expect. If you find yourself experiencing a period of crises, or intense painful emotions there are still coping strategies that you can employ in that moment.

Ideas For Coping with Acute Emotional Distress

1. Use of distraction – the aim of this is to limit the time you spend in contact with the emotional stimuli, the things that are causing you to feel emotional. The stimuli could be anything from another person to the thoughts that you are having. Distraction involves doing something else to absorb your attention.

2. Imagery – think of safe and soothing images. This involves imagining images that make you feel good, it may be a favourite place, person, pet or scenes from nature.

3. Relaxation – learn a simple technique like using peripheral vision to induce relaxation. Peripheral vision is effective at switching on the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of the nervous system responsible for making us feel calm. It’s not possible to feel anxious or distressed whilst fully relaxed in peripheral vision.

4. One thing in the moment – as adults we tend to spend much of our time stuck contemplating what went wrong in the past or what may go wrong in the future. Try and just focus on the ‘moment’. Perhaps this may involve thinking something like ‘I’m in my house in my favourite chair, I’m warm and comfortable and I have a good book to read’.

5. Exercise – physical activity can help to disperse the chemicals released in your body by the stress response. It also releases feel good chemicals known as endorphins.

6. Sooth yourself - do something to nurture your 5 senses. Be kind and gentle to yourself.

Karen Hastings is an occupational therapist who provides NLP and CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Edinburgh) sessions in Morningside, Bruntsfield, Marchmont and Tollcross, Edinburgh. More information is available http://www.karenhastings.co.uk.

Believe You Can!

In any therapeutic intervention that is designed to achieve change, it is important to have an understanding of the beliefs and values held by the person wishing to change. NLP therapists are able to work with clients to eradicate limiting beliefs. NLP therapists, Edinburgh are available to provide NLP in Edinburgh.

Have you ever taken the time to stop and think about your beliefs and values. Ask yourself – where have my beliefs originated? How do they guide how I live my life? Do my values and beliefs serve me?

Beliefs and Values form the essence of your identity and you should ask yourself these questions for the following reasons:

Beliefs are like a pair of glasses:

Put your glasses on and they filter how you view the world. Beliefs act in the same way. You will have beliefs about yourself, your skills and capabilities, how others see you and what type of person you are. You will also have beliefs about other people, how they operate, how to communicate with them, what drives them. Basically, you have beliefs about everything, including the world, politics, social issues, concepts, and religion. Beliefs underlie your internal representations, which is your map of the world. Your beliefs also filter sensory data that you take in from the environment and favour sensory data that supports and confirms your beliefs. We know form NLP models that the internal representations people hold effect their emotional state and behavior. Therefore, beliefs have an influence on your emotional state and behavior.

Beliefs and Values are your motivators:

The core beliefs you hold are your motivators, they are the basis from which you function in the world. People tend to works towards things that they value. For example, if you value having a high-powered career this may take priority over other aspects of your life such as time with your family.

Beliefs distort how you view the world:

Every belief and value is basically a generalization that you have made abut the world. Generalizations are distortions. Often when a client presents with a problem, there is a distorted belief or value behind it. For example, “my partner doesn’t phone me enough, this means he doesn’t love me”. Once you are able to become more aware of the distorted beliefs you hold, it is possible to begin to question them and challenge them. NLP therapy has a specific tool called the meta-model that is able to uncover the troublesome distortions and generalizations that people are making.

Beliefs and values determines what happens to you

Beliefs about the world and yourself can actually determine what happens. They are not just thoughts but effect what you focus on. We know in NLP that what you focus on your more likely to get. This is because your unconscious mind cannot understand negatives. So for example, if you focus on not being in debt, your unconscious mind will be on the lookout for debt in the environment and various ways to bring debt to your attention. NLP therapy teaches people the importance of communicating in the positive when you are thinking. This means saying what you do want not what you don’t want. Most people have heard of the placebo effect. This is a phenomenon in which a pill is given which contains no active ingredients. There are many studies that show that people given a placebo will experience a therapeutic benefit and in some cases get well based on the belief that they will be well.

Changing your beliefs:

As an NLP therapist, Edinburgh people often come to see me at my OT, NLP, CBT and hypnotherapy practice in Edinburgh because they are having problems with limiting beliefs, e.g. “No one could find me attractive”, “I cant lose weight or give up smoking”, “I’m useless in social situations”, “I’m bad at presentations”. Of, course, they are often not aware that their belief is the source of their unhappiness when they initially come to see me. Limiting beliefs hold people back and prevent them from doing things they want too. When we believe we cant do something our behavior will usually confirm this. As discussed above, you will act in a way and look out for evidence to confirm your beliefs. NLP and CBT therapy, Edinburgh has effective techniques for changing illogical and limiting beliefs that can allow you to move on and experience the world through a new pair of glasses. There is no excuse to let your limiting beliefs hold you back any longer!

Karen Hastings has worked in the NHS with people with mental-health problems. She also practices occupational therapy, CBT, NLP and hypnotherapy in Edinburgh. More information is avaliable at http://www.karenhastings.co.uk

Conversational Hypnosis Techniques

Conversational hypnosis is the process of getting people to do what you want or believe what you using the power of conversations and there are several ways by which you can do this. But the problem most people usually have is that they do not how to do it and they also do not know when it is being done on them. This article will look at some conversational hypnosis techniques.

One of the easy techniques of doing conversational hypnosis is through the use of reciprocation and this is how it works, if you are trying to get someone to do something for you and you know you are likely to get resistance try to do something similar for the person and make sure the person notices it. This way when you eventually make your request you are more likely to get compliance, for instance if you want a person to help you with something you are having problems with try to help the person with something he might also be having issues with, this way when you eventually ask the person for help the person is more likely to say yes.

Another technique is through the use of liking and this works on the principle that people are more likely to do things for people they like. So if you are trying to get someone to do something for you try to do things that would make the person like you and feel comfortable with you, this way when you eventually make your request you are more likely going to get compliance.

Commitment, is another good conversational hypnosis technique and this is how it works, if you are trying to get someone to do something for you and you know the person not too agree try to reduce your request to the point is likely to agree and then you can make your full request later.

For instance if you are trying to get someone to go somewhere with you for 7 days and you know the person would say no, you can ask the person to go with you for only 3 days and after you get there you can then tell the person you want it to be 7 days. This way you are more likely going to get compliance than if you had told the person from start.

Social proof is another conversational hypnosis technique and it works like this, if you are trying to get someone to do something for you try to let the person know of other people who might done what you want them to do.

For instance if you are trying to get people to come to your party by letting them know of other people like them who might be coming to the party you are more likely to get compliance.

All in all, conversational hypnosis is a good thing to know even if you are not going to use it on anyone you can always use it to protect yourself from people out there who might be trying to take advantage of you.

To Read More About Conversational Hypnosis visit http://www.onlinehypnosismastery.com or http://www.conversationalhypnosis.ca

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